Dumpster Diving

Guest Column from Dan the Man Mattox

We all remember that old cartoon from our youth, right? The one where our hero, Sylvester the Cat, is using the trash can lid like a dinner plate whilst picking through the trash cans? What in the world does that have to do with fantasy football you ask? Well, nothing probably, except to remind us that sometimes there are hunks of good meat left on those discarded bones. If you are really hungry, and desperate, dive in the dumpster and see if these leftovers are still edible. 

Jamison Crowder, WR, Redskins. I think we have all bought the Crowder hype before, right? Despite garnering 59, 67, and 66 catches the last three years, he has produced a paltry 2,7, and 2 touchdowns, respectively. After the slow start to this season, many may have thrown Jamison out with the leftover ribeye. But wait, is there still some meat on that gristly bone? Crowder has been a notorious slow starter and doesn't perform well even when he is the slightest bit nicked up. But in Week 3, he caught all four of his targets for 46 yards and a touchdown. What does that mean? Well, perhaps he is finding a rhythm with new QB Alex Smith. If that's the case, while he won't provide a full meal, maybe there are enough bites of Jamison left to get you through an injury or a bye in a PPR league.

Christian Kirk, WR, Cardinals. As we dig a little deeper in the trash bin....what's that smell? Why, that smells like relatively fresh meat! And it is. Kirk is a rookie in arguably the most ghastly offense in the league. So why take a nibble? A few reasons, actually. Sammy Biscuits has been put in his rightful place in the desert (the bench), and while its dicey to roll with any skill player, especially a rookie WR with a rookie quarterback, Kirk did garner 7-90 on 8 targets versus the Bears. Yes, I know that most of that was from the stale, aforementioned Biscuits, but aside from the mummy known as Larry Fitzgerald there isn't much competition for targets. While he may not provide much upside initially, if Kirk clicks with his newbie quarterback, he could provide you with an occasionally tasty morsel on Sundays.
 
Doug Martin, RB, Raiders. I know, I know, there was never much meat on the Muscle Hamster to begin with! After a couple very okay years with City of Tampa, Martin resurfaced with John Gruden’s cast of skeletons in Oakland. Martin has hardly been seen until Week 3 when he put up a respectable 9-43 line. While that is no great shakes, ahead of him is the artist formerly known as "Beast Mode," Marshawn Lynch. Lynch runs violently, so it's not out of the question for Martin’s workload to increase in the coming weeks. Definitely not enough to feed your family, but Martin could be a decent midnight snack. 

C.J. Beathard, QB, 49ers. Sadly the prettiest man in the NFL forgot how to step out of bounds in Week 3 and blew his knee out. Enter Beathard. While he is not the most handsome or most talented guy in the room, he still benefits from opportunity. With decent weapons around him and a solid coaching staff in place it's not out of the question for Beathard to possibly be a desperation stream that could get you through a bye or minor injury situation. Certainly shouldn't be your first man off the bench, but remember, we are dumpster diving here! 

There you have it, a four course meal of scraps, leftovers and mystery meat. Give them all the smell test, chow down, and save room for dessert. Bon appetit! 

[Editor’s Note: This week’s Weekly Hail Mary’s will be published on Thursday.]