No Scrubs

The year was 1999. Everyone was worried about Y2K, the economy was booming, the Houston Oilers became the Tennessee Titans, and the Browns returned to the NFL (it can be argued that they are still trying to return to the NFL). However most notably, Chilli, T-Boz, and "Left Eye" Lopez were cluttering up FM radio (no streaming yet kids), with their deep, heartfelt desire for "No Scrubs." TLC was burning up the charts long before Left Eye was burning down Andre "Bad Moon" Rison’s house. It could be argued that while “No Scrubs” is a sound dating philosophy, in regards to fantasy football, “No Scrubs” isn't always the best approach. Consider these scrubs to help you get through the upcoming slew of bye weeks.

Doug Martin, RB, Oakland Raiders
Welcome back Muscle Hamster. After signing with Oaktown, most of us, me included, assumed Martin would assume a complementary role in Jon Gruden’s retirement home version of an NFL team, behind the Artist Formerly Known as "Beast Mode," Marshawn Lynch. But it hasn't played out that way. The hamster wheel has derailed to the tune of 27-99-0 on the year. Jalen Richard has garnered the lion’s share of the work behind Lynch, with Martin getting only mop-up time. Lynch just had an MRI on his balky groin, with speculation that he could miss weeks. Richard isn't viewed as an every-down back, so enter Dougie-Mart. Everybody do the "Dougie." Do the kids still do that? Well, if you are desperate for a flex or bye week fill-in after the Raiders’ bye, consider doing the Dougie for a week or two until Beast Mode is feeling more flexible. 

Derek Anderson, QB, Buffalo Bills
Ok, before you stop reading and denounce this website in its entirety, let's step back and examine things objectively. Yes, this is a guy who has thrown 7 touchdown passes since 2010. Yes, this is a guy that is a career backup. Now let's consider, in 2007, Anderson threw 29 touchdown passes to the likes of Braylon Edwards and Joe Jurevicius. Pretty impressive, right? Also, which receiver on the Bills has a special connection with Anderson? Could that be Kelvin Benjamin, his teammate with the Carolina Panthers? Why, indeed it is! Don't be misled, Benjamin is a huge (fat?) talent in a bad situation. But with his old buddy Anderson at the helm, a little chemistry could be rekindled. It wouldn't shock me to see 250 yards and 2 touchdowns for Anderson versus the Colts. 

Jermaine Kearse, WR, New York Jets
Jermaine Kearse may not belong in this article. Last year, he posted 65-810-5. Those are decent but not eye-popping numbers. At best they’re flex/WR3-worthy numbers, but fast forward to 2018. Prior to the Week 6 bustout of 9- 94, Kearse had only 7 receptions on the season. Truly scrub-worthy numbers. Quincy Enunwa suffered an ankle injury in Week 5, leading to a glut of targets that need to go somewhere. Since Robby Anderson is strictly a 3-5 target a game guy, Kearse stands to inherit the considerable target share vacated by Enunwa. This is not a high volume offense, but Darnold’s arrow is pointing up, so there can be some upside to Kearse for at least a few weeks.

There you have it. Not a good looking threesome. Definitely could call them "unpretty." However if you "don't go chasing waterfalls" you may be able to bridge a bye week or weather a short term injury. Could be worse. Left Eye could've burned YOUR house down.